The latest episode of American Idol found Ryan Seacrest and the crew watching over 12,000 wannabe Idols audition in the windy city of Chicago. This week the guest judge was country singing sensation Shania Twain.

Chicago brought out the usual talentless, weird, and otherwise deceived contestants, including one girl who shouted out “I’m going to be America’s Next Top Model!” And if you saw the show last night that might be the only show this woman has less of a chance of winning than Idol.

Of all the train wreck contestants, one of my favorites was Amy. She made it quite obvious that she is in love with Seacrest and even confessed about having a dirty dream about him. She unveiled a very bizarre boob bounce move which she thought was going to get her to Hollywood. Needless to say Amy’s audition bombed and neither she nor her boobs went on to the next round.

Even worse than that was some schlep named Brian who did a rendition of Tiny Tim’s Tip Toe through the Tulips. Apparently Brian had served in the military and who knows; maybe they did some secret brain experiments on him, because this dude was just weird. It was pretty obvious that he was on there as a joke and you could tell it made Simon furious.

Also auditioning was Angela Martin, who had made it through to Hollywood twice before and had even made it to the top 50. Both times she had to leave because of unfortunate circumstances so she was hoping a third time was the charm. She auditioned beautifully and as expected made it to the next round. In all, there were only 13 people who made it through to Hollywood. And for the other thousands of losers…I’m sure they could get an appearance on the Chicago reality show Jerry Springer.

Brenda R., Staff Writer for

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