How I Met Your Mother is an American sitcom and home of some of the most funniest quotes on television. Most of these funny quotes come from Barney Stinson and Ted Mosby, although their 3 friends Marshall, Lily and Robin are quite hilarious themselves.

Below you will find just some of the best How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes that I have personally gotten from each episode.

It is the year 2030 and Ted Mosby is telling his son and daughter the story of how he met their mother. The future Ted Mosby is voiced by Bob Saget, who is uncredited in all episodes.

Ted’s story begins in 2005 with a single, 27 year old architect, Ted, living with his two best friends from Wesleyan University. Marshall Eriksen, played by Jason Segel is a law student and Lily Aldrin, played by Alyson Hannigan is a kindergarten teacher and they have been dating for about nine years. Ted met his «best» friend Barney Stinson, who is played by Neil Patrick Harris, in a bathroom (a urinal to be exact) after a night of drinks. Barney is best known as a womanizer with an unnamed corporate job. Ted, searching for his soul mate after Marshall and Lily get engaged, meets an ambitious young reporter Robin Scherbatsky, who is played by Cobie Smulders. Ted instantly falls in love with Robin and starts thinking about settling down, but Robin is not ready for it. The viewers learn that Robin is not the mother when Ted, as he talks to his children, refers to Robin as their «Aunt Robin».

Some quotes from Season 1 of How I Met Your Mother:


Marshall: Hey, how was your day?

Lily: Ahh. I’m exhausted. It was finger-painting day at school and a 5-year-old boy got to second base with me.


Barney: Man, you know something? Stuart’s my new hero. If that dude can bag a nine, I got to be able to bag, like, a 16.

Ted: What’s a 16?

Barney: Those 2 eights right over there.


Ted: Hell, if a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy city then, dammit, so can I!


Ted: Hey, this might sound weird, but it’ll definitely sound weirder once my shirt’s off, so I’m just going to ask you now. Do you want to have dinner with me Saturday night?

Dr. O’Brian: That’s very sweet but I’m actually getting married on Saturday night.

Ted: Friday night?


Lily: Oh no Ted, your blazer!

Ted: What, what what?!

Lily: Somebody spilled gorgeous all over it. Love it!


Read all of the best How I Met Your Mother quotes here: How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes

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